Aaron
I would like to talk to you about endangered elephants. I’d would like to introduce myself. I’m a third grade scholar that attends a charter school in Brooklyn. I persuade people to help elephants stay alive. Elephants don’t DESERVE to be treated like this. People need to think before they do. Your actions speak louder than your words!
Female elephants do everything together. When male elephants mature, they become violent. The matriarch drives the bull out of the herd. Bulls live in herds called bachelor herds. In bachelor herds elephants use their tusks and trunks to fight.
They are endangered because of ivory poaching. People in Africa kill elephants for their tusks to make jewelry. Their tusks are made out of ivory. They also work themselves to death.
These are some ideas to help elephants. We probably could take all the elephants to a wildlife preserve. We could learn more and more about elephants and study them.
Thank you for your time. I hope you would be a helping hand to save the elephants. Thank you for reading my essay. Visit our website to help us save the elephants.
6 comments:
Hello Jorden -- I think helping elephants by creating more wildlife preserves is an excellent idea. You are right - elephants dont deserve this treatment. They have a right to live and thrive just like people do. Students like you are doing a great service by publicizing this social problem.
PS On the subject of wildlife preserves, you might be interested to know that gorillas who have been used by scientists for experiments now have a retirement preserve in FLorida, where they can live in safety.
dear aaron, thanks for the informative essay on the problems that elephants are experiencing today. I really liked your descriptions of the social/living habits of elephants. I had no idea that males and females lived separately and had such different roles.
you say that some people kill elephants for ivory and that others
work them to death. I wonder if there are other ways that these people can make money than to rely on elephants.
your essay is well written and well organized and is a passionate call to action. I will take your advice. Eva N.
Dear Gentlemen:
It was a pleasure to read your essays regarding elephants and their current status in society. I want to commend you on the concern and passion that you exhibited in these essays. The details that you provided regarding the male and female elephant were enlightening to me. Your essays are a true testament to the quality of teacher you have in Ms. Blumenson and to the structure of Excellence. Keep going forward, gentlemen. Great writing futures are in your reach.
P.S. Aaron, thanks for using your own words to convey your passion for this cause. It is touching. Mom.
Aaron,
What a scholarly essay! I believe this is some of your best work all year. You seem to have a mastery of figurative language. Perhaps you can help some of your classmates later in the year when we cover that subject. Great work on the introductory paragraph. Next time, give a shout out to Excellence!
--Mr. de Leon
Aaron, this essay is really excellent! You use great vocabulary and really sound like an elephant expert. I agree with you, elephants do not deserve to be treated badly. Your essay helped me to realize what an important issue this is, and I plan to do all I can to help. Keep up the great work!
Aaron,
Your essay has given me hope. Thank for for teaching me some new things about elephants. In order for people to want to help, they must first understand the issue. After reaidng your essay I now have a better sense of what elephants must endure. Now I care a lot more.
Jabali Sawicki
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